He Left

Hi. Again. It looks like I'm not a woman of my word when it comes to writing in my blog. Soo sorry. I have a nephew now and its hard to even open my laptop.

So now, I'm going to write about someone. Not to resent him or anything. Just for a reminder. Not to repeat the same mistake.

So you know that I have an Ex who was really "obsessed" with me or so. At the end of December 2017 or early January 2018 (I forgot). He sent me a wedding invitation. I'm honestly shocked. Maybe because it was so sudden. I don't know.

What else can I say? I congratulated him of course.

What I hate is that I'm getting flashback every single time. Hope it ends when I come to their wedding. I don't know why and I hate it. Honestly, I don't even remember about him. Yet I opened my chat with him and apparently I wrote about him on my book. Well, technically I wrote it on the book he made for my 22nd birthday. Which I can seem to burned it down cuz it contains so many stories.

When I'm going through the chats, I began to remember how badly I was to him. I felt sorry for him. He is a kind man. He keep up with my ego. It was admirable. I also found that he was planning to wait for me. He even made a project based on me. Its so romantic. But then, I stumbled upon his bride-to-be social medias.

I read about how they met. I read about how they feel for each other. Which I remember its totally different with the story that he first told me (around 5-6 years ago). Well maybe time changed what he felt about her.

I read the date. She marked September 2012 as their fated encounter. Okay. I have mixed feelings when I read this. Maybe I feel betrayed. We broke up in 2011 or around mid 2012, I guess (see? I don't remember much). He still keep in touch with me sometime.

Until 2016. When we decided to officially end everything. I got the feeling that he tried to give us one last chance in 2015. Oh and I remember we got back together in 2013, briefly. But I can't love him. I don't know why.

Then I saw the girl wrote that they engaged in Oct 2017. I saw how happy she was. I'm happy too. Really. It means that he finally found the one.

Maybe I'm just frustrated cuz I haven't found the one yet when he already have. And he kinda broke his promise. When I started develop some feeling for him, he gave his wedding invitation. See, if he's not the one. No matter how hard you try, you can't be together. And I'm actually relieved that we didn't end up together. Cuz you know, we see things very differently. I can't imagine fighting with him every single day. And I'm glad that this whole event encourage me to be a better person.

If you read this, I just want you to know that I never hate you. Sorry for every single things that I said. I just can't love you back. I'm glad that I got to know you. Be happy with her. Thank you for everything.